Proposal Skripsi

Today, I was just random as usual and I thought I could tell anything in my life on this platform because no one won't see it, right? even if someone sees my blog, who cares? lol
anyway, I went to campus today. yeaaah as you know, it's my day off but I had to go because I had to attend my proposal skripsi workshop (it's all about my future yoooooow) *swag* *swag* it was sooooooo boring first but when Mr. Alek took over, my sleepiness went away. I don't know why but he is so fucking funny guuuuys you should know him!
you know before we (7th semester students) must attend the workshop, we should submit two tittles thesis and their previous study in one week! wtf. I felt like I couldn't make it. I didn't know what I should write but I remembered if Kak Ajeng gave me her proposal skripsi about "the effectiveness of tongue-twister through their pronunciation". well, I thought, it was a good idea if I put my tittle about it. but I can't do that, I change the tittle the effectiveness into the correlation and I think it was okay tho. I don't know if I should be sad or happy because my proposal skripsi's tittle was accepted!!!!!! OMG. MY BRIGHT-OR-NOT-FUTURE THOUGHTS HIT ME HARDER GUYS. HELP MEEE. I know I can do this on time! in addition, my pembimbing proposal skripsi is so friendly. she is ms. Evi. oh really I thank to God for giving me such a nice pembimbing proposal skripsi. All praises be to Allah. I want to tell a lot about this but my mood changes fast. If I get my mood back I'll continue this. bye bye!

You jerk.

Okay I know you're much waaaaaaay smarter than me. I can't speak English well, I don't have much vocabulary in my head, I got anxious every time in my presentation, I can't teach well, I can't do anything like you, yeah. I know you're so smart even Einsten will be shy to talk to you. HAH. Just go fuck yourself, asshole! If you don't want to see me as an idiot, just teach me how to be smart! just teach me like you want to see me not as an idiot. Do not underestimate me just because you're smarter than me. You know karma does exist, right? what if I pray to God to revoke your intelligence then change it into dumb. Yeah I wish I was that evil. I just need to get rid of my negativity like you. fuck off.

Just go.....

I don't know if I'm wrong about this but I think no one really cares for me even my closest friends. They're here for me because they have to. They have to go to college, they have to attend every meeting in class and they are accidentally friends with me. So, here we are as close friends.

I don't blame on anyone for not caring about me, I know they also have so many problems thus I wouldn't make their problems more difficult for caring or understanding about my problems. I will keep this problem inside my mind and not telling anyone about my (not-so-important) problems.

sometimes, I don't get it why I'm still doing nice to other people? why do I can't be rude? still trying to figure it out.

Is It Okay?

Is it okay If I want to be alone sometimes?
Is it okay if I want to cry every time I feel sad?
Is it okay if I think no one really cares for me?
Is it okay to not feeling okay?





Because I think it's not okay.

That way

I don't know what I'm feeling right now. So much things I wanna say deep inside my mind yet I wanna keep it down. I can't have someone who really understand about my feelings even myself. I hope when I made this blog, I can express my deep inside feeling.