thoughts about life

18th August 2016


I unintentionally browsed youtube website because I felt like I had less motivation in my life. I started to watch Gita Savitri's videos because she's now still studying in German, like.... how? I have to get the motivation from this girl. I just realized something that I had done nothing in my life. What have I done in this 3 years ago? I still feel the same as me in 3 years ago. nothing changes.

So, I listened how she could survive for about 5 years and how German changed her life. I saw her spirit on her video, like...... she can do this because she's strong, she can survive from the hard times. and anyone also can do this if they want. I found it in herself.

Now, I decided not to give up from everything that I've already taken. I have to deal with it and finish what I start. at least, I have to read more to increase my general knowledge. No more time for gossiping, no more time for thinking about others' views about me and also no more time for kepoing. It should be about me, my future. I can't be more success if I always think about others' life. Let theirs be theirs and mine be mine.

I know my english is way faaaar from perfect, I will be happy if someone could correct me from my mistake and also teach me how to good in English. I will try my best to practice more and more to increase my skill. If I don't want to change I have to face the pain of though life and I don't want it happen.

Happy 22nd birthday!

Happy birthday Ica, happy birthday Ica, happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday Ica!

That song above has been sung on 13th August 2016 in my birthday!!! yuhuuuu.

Oke gue bakal cerita ini pake bahasa indonesia aja karena gue pengen feel nya lebih dpt kalo pake bahasa indonesia wkwkwk (pdhl mah males)

gue bingung mau mulai darimana cerita...........

As you know gue punya temen dari smp yang bernama wmcn a.k.a wimacanik yeah I know everyone has been alay in their junior high school, right?

Jadi, gue sm tmn2 smp emg berencana buat pergi ke bandung ikut ngerayain wisudaannya ima. kita pergi kesana nebeng sm nyokapnya yg dulu jg guru kita di smp jadi yaa gak bakal kaku kaku amat lah yaa. kita berangkat jumat siang supaya pas sampe sana kita sempet jalan2 dulu sebentar. gue jg udah blg sm anak2 kalo gue gamau lama2 soalnya I'm broke af. bener2 se-gak-punya-duit itu loooh. sedih bgt ya mahasiswa tingkat akhir :"""( selain itu, wildan juga blg dia gabakal bs buat ksh surprise di bandung karena dia sibuk sm skirpsinya dan dia blg bakal ksh surprisenya abis gue balik. yaudah, gue mikir I'm not that childish to ask him go to bandung right? gue juga mikirnya nanti di bandung diksh surprise sm tmn2 smp ini ehehehe but...... the plan didn't go well......

temen smp gue ksh gue surprise di saat jam 21.00 tgl 12 agustus which is gue blm ultah dong??? yaa gue seneng sih diksh surprise di up normal pula tp gue cuma pgn diksh surprise pas jam 12 even itu cm tiup lilin :( seenggaknya di hari ultah gue walaupun wildan gabisa ksh surprise ke bandung, tmn2 gue ada dan bisa ksh surprise di hari h. tapi yaa yaudah lah, gue agak kecewa sih saat itu kyk mikirnya mereka cm mau menggugurkan kewajiban tradisi kita yaitu ksh surprise tiap tahun. gue betenya bener2 sepanjang hari karena gue mikir gue kan ultah di tgl 13 bkn di tgl 12 & 14!!! (yaa gue mikir wildan bakal ksh gue surprise di tgl 14) yaudah tuh gue makin pgn pulang dan gue emg gak punya uang jg buat jalan2 dulu disana. di tambah lagi kita agak sedikit kecewa sm sesuatu yg yaa gitu deh pokoknya. gue rasanya cm pgn pulang dan bobo dirumah nangis seharian huhuhuhu

(the early surprise for my birthday)

pas kita udah selesai ke wisudaan ima, kita memutuskan buat pulang jam 4an, karena mau ngapain lagi yakaan??? kita udah booking tiket, tapiiii dwi blgnya tiket buat 6 orang, gue bingung dong kok ada 6 wi? gue nanya lah begitu dan dia jago bgt blgnya maksudnya di travel kan bisanya ada 6 orang nah kita berempat jd ya bisa buat kita berempat, pokoknya gue gangerti gt deh tp karena gue lg bete gue iya iya aja (iyaaa!!! gue sebete itu sampe gamau tau apa2 lg) yaudah tuh akhirnya kita dijemput sm tezar buat anterin kita ke travelnya. gue agak curiga sih ini nungguin siapa lagi coba pake tlp2 gt tp ya karena gue bete bgt jd bodo amat gt.

sampe akhirnya kita jalan dan berhenti di pom bensin, gue melihat ada sesosok yg tak asing dimata wkwkwk yaitu si peri peri kecil a.k.a wildan!!! gue bener2 gak nyangka bgt sih dia bakal dtg soalnya gue tau dia sibuk skripsian bgt. tapi karena gue betenya udah bener2 bete, seneng gue ketutup sm betenya :"""( maaf y wildan. trs ternyata ada putri jg!!! ada abdalla & kak wahyu bagus!!! gue gak nyangka bgt deh pokoknya bener2 gak nyangka. gue antara gak enak jg sm tmn2 smp gue karena gue maksa bgt pgn cpt pulang yg berujung mereka harus pulang cepet dan wildan yg baru dtg dari bandung hrs balik lg ke jkt :"""( maafkan aku teman2 dan wildan......

(wildan came up at gas station for surprising me!!)

gila ya gue se gak nyangka itu loh wildan bakalan dtg trus ksh surprise. pgn gue cubit sm gigit aja nih orang!!! gemes bet weeey!!! wkwkwk trs ya seperti yg gue duga dia bawa bunga, karikatur, sepatu dan tas yang emg udah gue tau (yaiyalah org dia yg nyuruh gue milih) wkwkw

pas sampe rumah gue sm wildan lgsg foto2 ucul karena kita emg gak sempet foto itu jg difotoin sm mama wkwk trus bunganya diksh perfume nya wildan yg emg gue suka wanginya!!! tiap hari kerjaan gue cuma ciumin bunganya kalo lg kangen wkwk wildan tau bgt sih ih. pokoknya kalo abis cium bunga itu lgsg seneng deh wkwkw

(yak itu lah gambaran kesenangan gue)

Intinya, I'm really thankful for everyone that come to my life and love me just the way I am. bener bener bersyukur bgt punya temen yang sayang sm gue dan pacar yg imut emesh ucul yg always treat me like a princess wkwkw pokoknya love you all with all of my heart, muah!!!

I wish he knew it

One day, there was a boy knowing all of my heart-breaking story. In that time, he said and promised me not to do the same thing and would protect my heart from heart breaking. I was not sure at that time but he convinced me to believe. Unconsciously, I started to believe it.


But, he never realized that he actually did the same thing as others, he broke my heart. He did the same. I won't blame him for what he has done, I won't.

I just realize something. I shouldn't have expected too high. I should have loved him unconditionally even he hurt my feeling and accepted the consequent that he could hurt my feeling whenever he wanted it.

I didn't regret for everything that I've done to him, never.

I just want him to know that I wish he would be the same person as I knew from the first time, not like this. I love him without any desire to change him and I wish he knew it.